"It felt like a high. It felt like, just an uncontrollable urge," said Justin
Van Antwerp.
On the outside, Justin Van Antwerp "appeared" to have great life. He was a
minister, who had a wife and two little girls. No one knew he was addicted to
porn. It all started when he looked a playboy magazine when he was a teenager.
"Then, that wouldn't satisfy. Then I found a whole new world of videos and
webcams and all those sorts of things," said Antwerp. "I never got caught. I
got really good at covering things up."
Justin is among the growing number of men and women who are dealing with
pornography addiction. You used to have to go to an adult video store to get
it. Now, you can see it all online.
Pornography on the internet is a 57-billion dollar industry. It's larger than
all professional sports. There are 4.2 million pornographic websites. Those who
view it are 72% male.
Justin was looking at pornography at home and at work.
Looking at pornography while at work isn't all that uncommon. Computer company
Trivalent says they've investigated cases of pornography use at work, most are
kept private, but in the case of the Cutlerville Fire department, where
pornographic images were found on computers, the case ended up catching the
media's attention. Trivalent says businesses need to take a pro-active
approach.
"What can we do to stop that from happening to begin with? We implement things
like content filtering." Richard Reiffer, Chief Technical Officer for
Trivalent.
Dr. Paul Critelli sees patients who have all kinds of addictions. He's not
surprised that pornography addiction is becoming more common. He says Americans
have a different view of sex and nudity compared to people in other countries.
American beliefs that nudity and sex should be kept out of view, create an
addictive urge for some to get their eyes on it.
Psychologists say viewing porn at work is a sign that you have a problem. Other
questions to ask include:
Frequency - Are you logging on more often?
Intensity - Are the pictures becoming more graphic?
Duration - Are the sessions online becoming longer?
"If those things are increasing by jumps or rather steadily, I would say you
have a problem. Those attributes are a good measure of any kind of problem
behavior," said Critelli.
Critelli believes there are cases where people can view porn and not have a
problem. He doesn't think small amounts are morally wrong or necessarily
dangerous for a relationship, but psychologist Tom Karel disagrees.
"It creates unrealistic expectations and unrealistic ideas to what normal
really looks like," said Karel.
In Justin's case, pornography ruined his relationship with his wife. He says he
hit rock bottom when he picked up a female hitchhiker.
"Nothing happened, but had the opportunity arisen, I would have cheated on my
wife that day. That was a scary place to be."
A few months later, Justin told his wife about his addiction.
"She was devastated, and she left the following weekend. The next morning, I
met with the elders of the church and resigned my position."
Justin went into therapy and is now involved with a local anti-pornography
group called XXX Church. Justin hopes, by coming out about his problem, he can
show others, that they can overcome their addiction.
"By God's grace, people lifting me up, I've been able to get a hold on it."
